Changes

Sometimes during an argument you hear the one thing that tells you how the other person feels about you. And I heard it. A part of me had already shut down in the last few months, but hearing him say it was the final dagger in the heart. I was taken aback. I was so shocked he'd said it, I literally didn't even try to fight or argue. I simply shut down and accepted it. That was it.

So now I'm silent again. The only time we sleep in the same bed is when I'm too damned tired to go downstairs when he lays down next to me. But if I see him laying down in our bedroom, I lay out on the couch. If he's in the living room, I make a beeline to the bedroom. So that is how he feels about me? Oh word? After 4 and a half years? Fuck it. I already wasted a decade of my life in one deadbeat situation. I'd be a goddamn fool to try to waste another decade the same way. Time to make some decisions and get some things in order.